The effects of social media can be positive and negative.  We use social media to connect, reconnect, motivate, inform or find humor and all can be considered positives.  As an Instagram and Facebook addict, I’ve noticed the shift in their relevance.  I remember when I used to get excited about receiving a friend request or reconnecting with my elementary school besties.  Now my pages are saturated with tutorials on  “How to be a Bad B!t$h” or individuals holding money stacks  (when I know they don’t even have a job).  The falsified lifestyles and distorted body images portrayed are deemed  perfection, or in absence of better words, “hashtag WINNING”.  

We look at Instagram profiles with 500k followers and photos with 6,000 likes and associate them with having acceptance, beauty, success, and overall perfection.    We read the validating comments from followers and desire that recognition also so we alter our lives to attain it.  But if all we aim for are responses from followers, are those comments really making us richer, more beautiful, or just “Instagram famous”.

How can you be sure that the way you are portraying a fallacious lifestyle to get “likes and comments” isn’t also being done by the person you are imitating.. Better yet, if social media never existed, do you think you would still be comparing yourself to strangers, wanting their lifestyle, physique, or relationship status so you can keep tally marks on a piece of paper for validation?  Would the lives of strangers still seem so great to be imitated or worth your time?

If you want to be “pretty”, look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself that you are pretty and believe it.  If you want to be richer, evaluate your current occupation.  Is your job working for you, are you able to advance?  Do you need to look for another occupation or go into business for yourself?  What are YOUR options to boost YOUR income? 

If you want to lose weight, have you set a healthy weight-loss goal for your body type?  Have you tried eating healthier or created a workout plan?  If you are searching for your soul mate and keep attracting polar opposites with different morals and values,  do you need to evaluate the way you are presenting yourself?   Females, are you posting images with your legs spread wide open in a bra and panties,  but search for a significant other who will value your mind?  Fellas, are you posting images advertising how much money you make and can spend without care, and wonder why gold diggers are all you seem to attract? 

Society gives us many images of perfection, but they are not all consistent with you your morals and values. So ask yourself; what is perfection for you?  Why is it so important?  Are we changing who we are physically and mentally by choice or for validation?  Why do we let our insecurities drive us to social media for a description of personal perfection?  If you Google the definition of perfection, it is defined as “the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.” Notice that  perfection is not described by physical attributes.  Perfection is also not described by social or economic status.  Perfection is a state of mind. 

So be free of distorted images. Be free of fabricated lifestyles. Be free of conceited mentalities. BE YOU! We have to STOP comparing ourselves to what others profess to have and we think we want.  Our self-esteem takes a hit when we follow flawed models that were never the right fit. When we know who we are, know who we want to be, and commit to work towards that end, then we have perfection!  No one can be a better Me than me and no one can be a better YOU than YOU!

Often we allow negativity to stop us from believing we can achieve our goals.   It is only when we believe in ourselves whole hearted we are able to see the opportunities we have in life.  The opportunity to do the impossible.  The opportunity to beat the odds.  The opportunity to succeed.  We are taught to list out the pros and cons before we make a decision based on the probability of success. We ask others for validation so we don't have to pull the trigger ourselves.  The fear of failure and the need to place blame block our opportunities.  

I literally cry tears of joy when I think of the word "opportunity".  I look at my own life and realize that my life could be so different if I had not seized the opportunities when God presented them to me.  Odds were not in my favor when I decided to quit my job without another source of income lined up.  Odds were not in my favor when I decided to open a dance studio near 15 other existing dance studios in the same zipcode.  Odds were not in my favor when I decided to part ways with my boyfriend of 5 years at the age of 30 knowing that my biological time clock has an expiration date (lol).   But it's what I chose to do.  I can honestly say my decisions then were based on my indecisive behavior and spontaneity.  I just wanted something new.  Something that was mine.  Something that made me feel free.  I thought I was getting away and starting over when in actuality I was seizing new opportunities.  My life did not crash and burn because of my decisions.  My decisions made me stronger.  

Today, I watched Disney's McFarland USA with Kevin Costner.  Based on a true story, the odds were against seven young men and their coach to succeed.  They faced many negative obstacles along their journey and were presented with the opportunity to do more than just exist but to be great.  This movie was motivating, empowering, and of course it made me cry. I'm not a spoiler for movies so I highly encourage you to watch it.  Even though it was a movie, its heartwarming to see others pursue their dreams when reality tells you its not possible.  

We all have choices.  We all have the opportunity to be great.  Do not let the fear of not knowing deter you.  Do not let the judgement of others stop you.  The question should not be "is there a better opportunity for me".  The opportunity is out there for us all to be great.  The question is are you going to be willing to accept the challenge... ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE!